


Empty Eyes

by foxietales



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - Freeform, Angst, Basically Coulson gets kidnapped and May goes berserk, F/M, Philinda - Freeform, Post-Bahrain (Agents of SHIELD), Unstable plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 14:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12256044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxietales/pseuds/foxietales
Summary: "Why are your eyes so dark, Melinda? Why are they always so empty...?"(Angsty Philinda one-shot, my first attempt on writing An AoS fic. Also on FFnet under the same title).





	Empty Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I got around writing an AoS fic aftet all. I started the series last Monday and I'm already almost in the middle of season 2! I really like it. 
> 
> I wrote this mostly to let out some stress and to try and hone my skills for my main fic project belonging on another fandom. But... Hey I hope it's okay! XD 
> 
> There might be some typos seeing I wrote that yesterday midnight, and I am aftaid Coulson may be a bit OOC towards the end... But hey, enjoy I suppose!

_Why are your eyes always so dark, Melinda?'_

_'Why won't you look at me, Melinda?'_

_'Why are your always so empty, Melinda?'_

_So many questions. She'd never given a solid answer before, hadn't she?_

_'There's nothing for me to see.'_

_Half an answer, perhaps._

_'When you've seen what I've seen? You tend to become blind towards everything else.'_

_He'd pushed her too far. He shouldn't have asked -he shouldn't have caused that crack on the ice._

* * *

 

Coulson awoke with something that sounded suspiciously between a gasp and a cry, his senses suddenly bolting out of the darkness and dragging him back into reality. Startled, he tried to make out something, anything that would possibly help him decipher his location.

His eyes took long, longer than expected, to adjust to the sickly yellow light that filled the room he was being held into. By the time his vision cleared, he'd already started coughing.

Blood, fresh and warm, trickled down his chin and dripped into his shirt, that had once been white but was now stained with crimson splotches all across. Slowly, his memories came back.

Kidnapped. Right. By a band of people that were his formed comrades. Now they'd turned their back to SHIELD, like everyone else had. They weren't Hydra either though, to be completely honest. In reality it was nothing but a mostly disorganised band of retired or rogue agents that had some kind of personal score to settle with him.

Frankly, he was glad they hadn't brought the rest of his team into this. He was glad that no one would know he was there, and that no one would come to save him. That none of his friends -his _family_ \- would endanger themselves for his sake.

Skye would take his loss the hardest. It would be like losing her father all over again in a sense, he supposed. But Skye was such a strong, strong young woman with the life ahead of her. She'd pull through it, eventually. He knew she would.

Fitz-Simmons... those two had certainly gone through some very rough months, with Fitz being injured, Simmons almost getting killed when her cover in Hydra's labs blew. But they would have to move forward eventually, too. They hadn't known him for too long a while either, had they?

Triplet hadn't been in the team long enough to form some kind of attachment, he believed. While it might feel like losing his mentor figure all over again, Coulson was certain he'd come over it. Maybe he'd even step up on the ranks of whatever had remained of the agency as well.

And May...

She was a woman of duty. She knew the risks they ran better than anyone else on the team, excluding even himself. She'd even be prepared, he supposed. She'd mourn him as a friend, yes, but it would be short. Then, just as he'd already instructed her to in case of his death, she'd step up as the new Director. She'd take care of everyone else just fine.

He desperately wanted to convince himself his death wouldn't hurt her. Not permanently. Not like Bahrain had.

' _Why are your eyes always empty, Melinda?'_

Yet those few months after the dawn of the new Hydra, the months they'd all spent together, rebuilding SHIELD... Coulson could've _sworn_ there was something in May's eyes. Something he hadn't dared to hope he'd see again glimmering inside of her...

"Ah, Director Coulson."

His thoughts were interrupted by a tormenting voice belonging to a middle-aged man, not too much younger than he himself.

Then the punch came again. Coulson spat out more blood, as he rocked involuntarily with his wrists bound to chains hanging from the ceiling. It wasn't too high off the floor -barely a few inches. But under the plethora of violent blows and the approximately twenty-four hours -if his calculations were correct- he'd been hanging off them, he was almost certains his shoulders had been dislocated.

"No one from your oh-so-trusted team has come to save you yet, isn't that right?" The man whose name Coulson wasn't aware of went on with his torment. "Not that girl you've decided to adopt, not ol' Garret's lad, not your crazy scientists. Not that shell of a woman, that's for certain."

For some reason, the man's insults hit home harder than any of his punches.

"They're all so much better than you could ever hope to be", Coulson's voice was hoarse and his eyesight was fading again, but there was fire in his words as he spoke. "May would have all nine of you begging for mercy before you could even notice her planting bullets in your-"

Another punch, and Coulson was effectively cut off as the man let out a sarcastic laugh, enjoying the situation.

"And yet she's not here. No one is. They've all given up on you, old friend." An almost lunatic smirk played across the man's thin lips. "Just like you gave up on us so many years ago."

Coulson felt guilty for not being able to recall his name, not even his facial characteristics. He knew it was probably T.A.H.I.T.I. messing with his memories, but his mind was blank on the man. As if he'd never met him.

That had seemed to anger the ex-agent from the start. Coulson would not remember, and he'd get all the more violent. Trying to punch and stab and maim the memories out of his once fellow agent.

Coulson had long given up on trying to remember, or resist, however.

He would only wait for the blissful darkness of death.

* * *

 

Coulson couldn't be completely certain of what happened. All the rogue agents were present for the show that night. The Nameless Man had even brought a new game for them to try -a voltage device of his own making, to experiment on their captive.

But the captive was done being afraid. He was simply waiting -waiting, because death was finally near.

At least he'd been right about that -death had been lurking near them all. But it had not come for him.

Afterwards -hours, weeks, months later- he'd wonder how she found him. How she had been so absolutely sure he'd be there. And how she'd stormed the hideout with nothing but a pistol in one hand, the other tightened into a fist -with which, as much as he was able to discern in the madness that followed, she had successfully smashed more than just a couple of skulls.

Even as May was literally exploding her way into the hideout, Coulson had been hovering between consciousness and darkness. As such he'd been able to hear the noise and the screams, but for a few moments he'd thought the rogue agents were cheering for his oncoming torture. It had taken the Nameless Man screaming for them to "take her on, cowards! She's just _one_ woman!" for Coulson to finally stir and open his eyes.

Oh, how he wished he hadn't.

May's face was an emotionless mask of ice and fury, as she kicked and punched and clawed her way through the nine agents that were trying to put her down. And as all of them had rushed towards her, she didn't even bat an eye. She had met each and every one of them with sheer strength and willpower alone -she'd discarder her handgun as soon as she took in to the fact that none of them fought with actual weapons, anyway.

She'd killed them, crushed them all right before Coulson's clouded gaze. And as she snapped their necks or shattered their ribcages, she didn't make a sound. Her moves were precise and calculated, like those of a well-oiled killing machine. As if nothing else mattered, other than tearing the living lights out of these men. And Coulson wished, wished this was all but a hallucination, and that this wasn't really happening, that she wasn't really there. Because when her eyes met his, just for a second... hers were emptier than the darkest night.

May had taken her time -which translated to a few extra seconds- to kill the Nameless Man, who was the last one still standing. She'd said nothing, done nothing; only stared at him for an additional few moments. But these few moments, Coulson could tell would put his own physical torture to shame. The man shook from head to toe, trembling before the embodiment of death staring right through him.

"P-Please-" His pleas were cut short by a whistle in the air -and then Coulson saw a gleaming blade protruding from the back of the man's skull. A second later, he fell to the ground, lifeless. And an additional few seconds later, May had grabbed her discarded pistol and shot a couple of bullets towards the roof.

All of a sudden the pressure lifted itself from Coulson's wrists and shoulders, and he found himself crumbling to the ground -but May was there and she caught him before he could even notice her moving.

"Phil."

Why was her tone so blank? As if they were back into the SHIELD base, holding a conversation about the next mission, or Skye's progress in training. As if she hadn't just murdered nine men -nine ex-SHIELD agents- in cold blood without so much as a wince.

"Phil, can you hear me?"

He supposed she was doing the talking because there was no one else with her to do it. Had she even notified the rest of the team? He strongly doubted it.

"I... You came." This, he realised belatedly, seemed to take her by surprise. She blinked a few times, then looked away briefly.

"... Yes." She finally muttered. "Of course I did."

"You should have never come..."

A shadow flickered across her face as she processed his words.

"Why...?" She didn't seem to care then, about the lives she'd so violently taken just to save his sorry, useless hide."Coulson? Say something."

She was worried, then? But her eyes... her eyes were still so devoid...

May, however, arched her eyebrows in something akin to confusion as she saw tears running down Coulson's cheeks.

"You should have never come, Melinda..."

"What are you-"

He reached up, cupping a bloodied hand over her cheek, as more tears blurred his vision.

"You were just like so many years ago. Back... Back in Bahrain. I didn't... I never wanted to see you like that again!"

He barely had time to register the surprise, the shock spreading across her features, before he was suddenly pulled into what, he supposed, was the closest thing to an embrace May could give to him. Which was pretty close, actually.

"Idiot." He heard her mutter next to his ear. "You could have been killed."

Shakily, he wrapped an arm around her as well.

"Would you... would you have mourned?"

A few seconds of silence followed.

"... Skye would have been devastated."

"I asked about _you_ , Melinda." He'd spoken her first name before he even noticed, but somehow he sensed it had some kind of effect in her. "Would you have...?"

"I would be very, _very_ angry." She paused. "Which I am right now, actually."

At that, Coulson couldn't hold back a weak chuckle. "You... you don't sound like it."

Instead of retorting, she just squeezed him a little tighter; just for a second, but he noticed nonetheless. He had a feeling she'd wanted him to notice. However, she just pushed him away, looking at him.

"Let's go home, you idiot."

There was a glint of light in her eyes as she spoke the words.

And Coulson saw it, and he smiled wide, wider than ever before.

"You're right... let's go home."

**Author's Note:**

> So how was it for a first try? I admit I get a little clueless and awkward during my first attempt to write in a fandom, but I should hope my future AoS works -if there are going to be any at all- will be a little better! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
